• Brian D. Hinson

Drive-Thru Yoga Studio

Sometimes, a crazy Uber story has nothing to do with me driving. It’s just a story from a passenger.

I pulled up to a mega church on the east side to pick up an elderly woman with a cane. Once in the backseat, she felt it was necessary to tell me that she can still drive, but she’s currently having some complications with her insurance.


She went on to tell me that she was responsible for some recent car damage. First, she’s ruined a few tires bumping into highway divider curbs. “You can hardly see those things at night!”

I made a non-committal noise in response. They are painted a bright yellow.

“But the last time I totaled the car. So, really, I don’t have a car right now. But I popped up on a curb and instead of hitting the break I hit the gas (I have no idea how that happened) and drove through a yoga studio. It was closed at the time, no one was in there, don’t worry. Glass everywhere. My hood all messed up. I hit reverse to get out of there and I must have hit it too hard, I backed up all the way across the street, up the other curb, through a fence and into another building. But not as hard as the yoga place. But that fence got all caught on my tires and I couldn’t move the car. The police came out.

“Anyway, my brother comes to pick me up and he told me that it’s time for me to stop driving. I said, ‘The hell with that!’ I can still drive fine, I just had two incidents. It’s not like anyone was hurt. My insurance company said they won’t insure me anymore, but I’ll find someone! I have some money coming and I’ll get me a new car.”

Well, she was a customer, not my mother, so I didn’t feel comfortable saying that I agreed with her brother. She admitted to not being able to see curbs at night and apparently mixes up the accelerator with the brake!

I bade her goodbye when we came up to her destination: another church.

Her guardian angel isn’t doing much good for her, either.

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